"Should i have a fixed schedule to post article once i started a blog?" -- A question i asked so that, i can make this endeavour meaningful and as a lasting pastime unlike my many other endeavour. Feeling like -- it has been weeks or even months since i last posted about my various rendezvous; which at every end of them i will tell myself this-is-it -- this is something meaningful to be posted. As usual i come home tired. My two girls will always around me or center around the pc which prohibit me from thinking about using the pc. Looking for the best time? -- is always to no avail. The pc will only be availabe way after my bedtime.

.... until today I get this unexpected leave as i got sick since the last three days. The story began when yesterday I was supposed to fly south the peninsular for another rendezvous and i was admitted to a daycare treatment at the hospital emergency ward instead. Browsing through the email after lunch made me think of posting this.

A little bit of yesterday's story. I have been feeling heaty since the last four or five days. Busy with work and children as usual, I ignored while hoping it will just eventually go off as it always does. Oh dear, but it does not for this time around. Reaching the hospital, I was instructed to head straight to nebulizer unit as I told the lady at the counter that my asthma attack persisted even after using asthma inhaler pump for few times since the day before. The first dose was not enough it seemed. The doctor then instructed a blood test to check on dengue -- it's negative. Blood pressure checked, oxygen level checked... she decided on another dosage of nebulizer. I finished up the second dosage and there went stethescope on my chest which showed that i need another dosage of nebulizer. Together with it, she also instructed for another blood sample for more accurate checking on the oxygen level in bloodstream. Upon finishing the third dosage, she then sent me to the imaging unit for x-ray. Nothing is to be worried she said - no sign of pneumonia. But since asthma persist she decided on steroid jap. I was then discharged with steriod pills for three days, asthma medication, pills to reduce phlegm and paracetamol for my fever.

my quadruplet of princesses

indeed i feel good about having this space 0f my life especially about the crowded space between me and my four girls. They are 18 to 8. Managing them single handedly just like having quadruplet of toddlers. I am pulled into too many directions in every moment of the day. Time went by. Every second of the last 8 years was solid proof of the "tough-get-going-when-the-going-gets-tough". I pulled thru the obstacles be i got what i set for or i didn't. I have so many targets, for the children and for me. I divided them into short term, long term and immediate as well. Too many targets which I do not know which have I really achieved. In the mess of wanting to do this and that, or should I say, more or less wanting to do everything in the world; every now and again I will try to compose my self saying to myself that God has granted my unspoken wish -- to always be with my quadruplet of princesses. Nothing compares to this. It's core to my every target --- able to give a better life to my girls, financally more independent, better education program, better and more opportunities and many, many, many more. I venture into many things. I tried almost every possible, or should i say, legal way to realize what i aspire for the children and I.
I found shortfalls.
I learned whats not in any book.
I experienced unexpected detour.

..... just to mention a few. I want it or not, my quadruplets are observing what is happening to me and suffering along with me. .....and I wish time will one day tell me they benefit thru this.

Everyone needs friend

Just to materialize my long withstanding wish to start a blog of my own. Surprisingly, this all started during a meeting in royal adelphi seremban. This is one of the few circles of friends that i feel comfortable to be with. they are the high performing teachers, recognized by the government. They make me feel close as good. Working extra hours is no problem to them. The joy of working --- taking work as ibadah ---and many more --- i suppose the principles they live by.

Before leaving for royal adelphi, kamal called just to have a quick lunch with me. knew him for like more or less six months already. sharing the so called odd life that we both went thru. He conveyed his recent struggle with his wife --- i recalled mine. Then we laughed.